Have you ever seen people take part in a “trust” exercise? They stand with their arms crossed over their chest, close their eyes and fall backwards hoping that they will be caught. There are not cushions on the floor to cushion a fall, or a net to catch them, they have to rely on others. They have to put complete trust in those behind them to catch them before they fall.
I’ve never done this kind of experiment, and I am pretty sure I would be nervous. “What if they don’t catch me?”
But I do have a trust like no other and it’s not in a person, it’s in the One who created me. The One who created the universe. The One who insisted I have kinky, curly hair. I always trust that God holds on to me, even when I let go. Through the worst times in my life, God has never let go of me. It’s like He grabs me by the nape of neck like a cat carries her kitten. No chance of letting go.
In a perfect world we would put all of our trust in God, or whatever higher power we rely on, and not worry about what other people think, because if the One who created everything has our back and never lets go, why should I worry what someone thinks of me? Beloved, I wish it was that easy.
There are times I want to scream at the top of my lungs when injustice occurs. “It’s not fair! Do you see how you are treating him/her? Wake up! Why is average okay?” As strongly as I believe in righting wrongs to the best of my ability, sometimes it’s just not worth it. Especially when evil is involved. That is when I have to not only let God hold me, but I have to grasp the hand of the Almighty as if it was life or death.
Relationships are two sided. At least the good ones are. If I simply rely on God to do the work without putting any effort into the relationship on my part, I won’t completely grasp the power of God and the power of my faith. When I am in the middle of hurting, I want to run and hide. Being in my home, without anyone bothering me, having uninterrupted time to write and do things around the house is a good thing, and sometimes a necessary thing in order to heal.
It may be some time before I feel like I can truly reach out to grasp my Creator, but as I wander, I know He is with me. However I struggle, He understands me, whatever I have done (good or bad), He is for me. When God looks at me and you, there is nothing but grace in His eyes, and in His heart an ocean of mercy.
Today I Am Thankful For
Phenomenal oboe playing
An impromptu stroll through Old Town